love u, corp daddy!
don't tell my boss i wrote this
we’re operationalizing our values!
I’m a natural born complainer, baby. I loooooove a good whine. And if you think I’m bad, you should never interact with my sister. But because I love being a crybaby, sometimes it’s hard to know if I’m just complaining because it just feels good or if I’m actually struggling with something really painful. And that’s my fault! I know!
But the past year (or more), I’ve been really depressed and frustrated and genuinely feeling trapped. I’m constantly complaining about my job. And it’s not for fun anymore.
I have 2 jobs. I work a day job for a company who shall not be named in an industry that I personally don’t vibe with (and morally disagree with on some levels!) and then I manage an entire podcast network of wonderful shows and people (who I love!) in my spare time. Over the past 5 years, our network has been steadily growing and getting busier while my day job has been gradually draining the god damn life out of me.
ooooo, cute spreadsheet!
One of my coworkers has a little plaque on her desk that insists that you “LOVE WHAT YOU DO”. A bit fucking demanding, if you ask me. Another one of my coworkers always wants the latest company merch. Like a badge of honour!
Don’t get me wrong - I like the people I work with. They’re good people at the core. And my disdain for this job is not at all because of them. Some people just love to clock in and clock out, Severance-style. And that’s fine! It’s just not me. I feel dead inside every time I step into the building. I just can’t shake the feeling that I’m not meant to be here. I’m wasting my life here. No offense, work fam!!!
That corporate, manipulative “we’re a family” shit is pervasive here. Like, literally the word “FAMILY” is painted on the fucking wall beside my desk. It’s nauseating. And frankly, insulting. For a corporation to claim to be as important to you as your own family is deranged. But man do some people buy into it.
i hope i win the company t-shirt at the next raffle!
I often think I was meant to be a creative person in life, but at some point I went down the wrong path and got lost. I feel like there’s an artsy dweeb inside me that I never nurtured. And now I feel like a rat in a cage working at Corporate Office Job™.
That’s why I love our podcast network. I love surrounding myself with creative people, performers, artists, writers, comedians, etc. I want to help them to nurture their own artsy dweeby selves. It makes me feel actual real joy when the network accomplishes even the smallest thing. I wish every day that I could dedicate all my time to it.
So, I think I’ve reached a tipping point. I can’t sit through another fucking “town hall” or another “team pizza lunch in the boardroom”.
when’s the next team pizza lunch in the boardroom???
Day job wants me back at the office 4 days a week starting in September. When I got that memo from HR, I smiled the most psychotic dead-eyed smile and I realized I had finally received the greatest gift this company was ever going to give me (even better than those italian breadsticks I won in last year’s christmas raffle): a final push out the door.
Is my boss going to read this? Is HR googling my name on the regular? Maybe! I did reject the head of HR’s LinkedIn request recently so, yeah, maybe!!!!!!!
I’m not sure quite yet when I’ll actually make my grand exit. But it’ll probably be before September. So if they do find this and fire me, I think that would be okay.
And I have no fucking plan as of right now. I’m assuming most people who make this leap have some kind of plan in place by this time. I’ll have to find something part-time to sustain my addiction to Miss Vickies chips.
But ultimately I think it’s the right thing to do. I can feel that our network is on the precipice of something really great. I’m very excited and absolutely terrified.
Here’s a photo of me in a happy place: at TO WebFest 2023, about to watch one of our hosts (Jeremy, on the right) win the award for Best Scripted Podcast ♥
